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I have a somewhat fear of being alone. I'm an only child and its hard to depend upon my extended family at the moment since i'm closest with my 10 year old cousin who happens to think i'm a punching bag sometimes...plus people who are my friends and who i thought i knew...just a lie. Maybe i'm just jealous that they get to go outside and are invited to things while i rot away at home trying to figure out weapons proliferation and philisophical moments for school. Oh yeah and now i don't know what i'm going to do in the fall. I was planning on doing water polo and now...well we have no coach and no hope of finding one. so its either nothing or cross country and i don't think my knees can take that much pain. well thats enough for now. i'm thinking my mood could just be a sideeffect of the amazing headache i feel coming on...

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